"being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:11-12
Again, It has been longer than I'd like since I last wrote here. The holidays have come and gone and I'm gearing up emotionally for another 1 year anniversary since our precious Olivia was born sleeping. After the roller coaster of emotions through the holidays I seem to have a little reprieve, while I think of Isaac's birthday and then Cole's, all the while thinking about the little girl we have who will be celebrating her birth in Heaven, having the best kind of party I could ever imagine, I'm sure.
This post is about the amazing grace and mercy God can and DOES show. Today we got to meet our great friends' new baby girl. We have been praying diligently for them since 2011 when they started on their journey to begin growing their family. It was not an easy journey for them, but their faith and hope in what God was doing in their lives' has brought them to where they are now, loving and caring for their sweet little girl. We could not be more happy for them!
So, what am I referring to when I say God shows grace and mercy? Well, having lost our baby girl, seeing other baby girls brings to the surface those very raw emotions of what we have gone through and continue to go through. It brings back the not so easy to deal with questions of "why?" In short, seeing baby girls cause my heart to hurt just a little bit more, not out of envy or jealousy but out of just a deep longing for my own daughter.
Today, in knowing we'd be going (and wanting) to go visit them I decided to have a little talk with my Olivia. Whether it was in my head or her presence nearby (I have to believe she's always around), something changed in my heart and mind. It was as if I was finally able to stop feeling guilty about the idea of holding a baby girl. By God's grace, I was able to go to a store, go to the baby girl clothing and buy something for a baby girl and not feel some kind of impending doom so to speak (Yes, seriously!) Later on, at the hospital, God showed me that same grace and mercy, and I was able to hold and admire their precious little miracle, and again I didn't feel guilty or sick to my stomach, I didn't even have to think twice about holding her and admiring her, a baby girl.
To our dear friends, we are sharing in the joy of your new adventure- parenthood. We are sharing in the joy of your baby girl and giving thanks to God for the little miracle that she is! She is so precious and we love her, and you! <3
