Lamentations 3:21-27

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young." -Lamentations 3:21-27


It has been on my mind how I have heard from many well intentioned people "You're so strong" or some form of that statement numerous times in the last month and a half. I just feel it is important to give credit where credit is due. It is because of my faith, my husband's faith, my family's faith that I am making it through each day, one day at a time. Just as many people can't fathom what it is like to lose a child or how to cope with such a loss, I can't imagine how people who don't share the hope Isaac and I have cope. I have read other women's stories and/or talked with them in person and can honestly say I just hurt for them knowing they and their family's don't have hope in Jesus. It has become so clear to me that they can't possibly find any sense of comfort in such a tragic loss. I feel sad because they don't believe or understand that they will get to be reunited with their babies one day and will no longer feel pain or suffering. The hope I have by no means lessens the sadness I feel on a daily basis, but it is helping me go one day at a time, bringing me closer to the day when I will hold my Olivia again.

I do still question God's decision to take Olivia. In talking with Isaac about our thoughts of the day recently, he brought up how he was feeling strongly on his heart that we ARE God's children and just as we question our parents here on earth, we do the same with God. As children it is hard to always believe your parents "know what's best". This is why we cling to HOPE. "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father". The spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."- Romans 8:15-17. God knew us before we were born, he knows every detail about us and knows the paths our lives' will take. We will not understand many things in this lifetime- like the loss of a child, so why wouldn't we look to the one who can provide hope and comfort when no one else can, the one whom I am getting my "strength" from.